"Que Tal?" is a well kept secret, hiding in the shadow of Barcelona's magnificent Church of Santa Maria del Mar on the Passeig del Born, an area of outstanding natural eccentricity.When her phone rang, the Bar's Proprietress, Gloria C.Kettlewood (late of Croydon) was chopping limes for her lethal mojitos and singing along -slightly out of tune, with a ropy Samba Band
"Darling" she gushed. "Wonderful to hear from you. Where the hell are you? On the airport bus? Which country, darling? Oh, you're with the lovely Ry. And the dog! What dog? Oh, I see. Where are you staying?" Gloria nodded as she listened to the hesitant response. "Nonsense. You must come and stay here. Of course. And the dog. Why not?"
When she'd hung up, she summoned the staff - both of them. There was Jordi, the handsome, gentle Spanish hunk and Mad Marco, a well meaning but hyperactive young Italian.
"You remember Ry and Sergi, don't you? They were here at Easter"
"The two gay guys, you mean?" said Marco, mindlessly tearing up mint.
"Their orientation is neither here nor there"
"We're not prejudiced, Glo"
"I know that, darlings. You wouldn't be working here if you were"
"Yeah but we're not what you'd call a gay bar, are we?" added Jordi.
Gloria bristled. "We're not what you'd call a gay bar. We're not what you'd call a straight bar. We're what you'd just call a sodding Bar, for Christ's sake"
"You mean a politically correct bar" added Marco, helpfully.
"Now listen" she said, calming down, "Sergi was calling from the airport bus, so they should be here anytime now. Ry's just flown in from London and Sergi's come up from Salou - wherever the hell that is. Be nice to them. They're probably exhausted"
"Who were you ringing?" asked Ry, as the bus approached the city centre.
"Gloria. You remember her? "Miss Larger than Life. Who could forget her?"
"Now come on. She's great. Outrageous, funny, generous..."
"And known to one and all as "Warm Glo" Yes. We know!"
"What's more, she's invited us to stay with her""All three of us?"
"Sure" said Sergi. The third party referred to was a sad eyed mongrel he'd rescued from Salou's (not altogether satisfactory) answer to the Battersea Dogs Home.
He'd emailed a picture of the animal to Ry, and asked what he thought of him.
"Rubbish" came the reply.
And so the hapless creature was known from then on.